The Love Dare - Day One Update
Good morning everyone!!! Hope y'all are all settled back in to the work week now that the holiday weekend is over. It sure wasn't easy but I'm getting there. ;) So how did everyone do with last week's dare? As always, at first it was pretty easy for me. After a few days though it gets harder. I think I am so used to everything that my husband does and I have a habit of responding in an aggravated, impatient way. I know it's going to take longer than a week to break me of that but I think I did a pretty good job last week. What makes it so hard for me is when you are trying to be patient but he isn't aware that you are so he makes no attempt at being easy to get along with. I think THAT is what this is all about though. Being able to be patient and loving even when it's not easy. I am excited for this week's dare and I hope y'all are too!!
Day Two - Love is kind.
"Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." - Eph 4:32
Kindness is love in action. If patience is how love reacts in order to minimize a negative circumstance, kindness is how love acts to maximize a positive circumstance. Patience avoids a problem; kindness creates a blessing. One is preventive, the other proactive.
Love makes you kind. And kindness makes you likeable. When you're kind, people want to be around you. They see you as being good to them and good for them.
"Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man" (Proverbs 3:3-4). Kind people simply find favor wherever they go. Even at home. Let's break kindness down into four basic core ingredients:
Gentleness. When you're operating from kindness, you're careful how you treat your spouse, never being unnecessarily harsh. You're sensitive. Tender. Even if you need to say hard things, you'll bend over backwards to make your rebuke or challenge as easy to hear as possible.
Helpfulness. Kindness graces a wife with the ability to serve her husband without worrying about her rights. Kindness makes a husband curious to discover what his wife needs, then motivates him to be the one who steps up and ensures those needs are met-even if his are put on hold.
Willingness. Kindness inspires you to be agreeable. Rather than complaining and making excuses, you look for reasons to compromise and accomodate.
Initiative. Kindness thinks ahead, then takes the first step. It doesn't sit around waiting to be prompted or coerced before getting off the couch. The kind husband or wife will be the one who greets first, smiles first, serves first, and forgives first.
Wasn't kindness one of the key things that drew you and your spouse together in the first place? When you married, weren't you expecting to enjoy his or her kindness for the rest of your life? Didn't your mate feel the same way about you? Even though the years can take the edge off that desire, your enjoyment in marriage is still linked to the daily level of kindness expressed.
How would your husband or wife describe you on the kindness meter? How harsh are you? How gentle and helpful? Do you wait to be asked, or do you take the initiative to help? Don't wait for your spouse to be kind first.
Today's Dare
In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again this week, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
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After completing this dare, please answer the following questions in your own notebook but also please share with us your answers too!!
What discoveries about love did you make this week? What specifically did you do in this dare? How did you show kindness?
-Taken from The Love Dare by Stephen & Alex Kendrick with Lawrence Kimbrough
Last week wasn't bad--there were a few moments of being impatient but nothing negative was said. I can't wait to try this dare. Thanks for typing all of this out!
ReplyDeleteI am loving this series that you're doing. Hopefully I'll be successful with this week's dare. Happy Wednesday!
ReplyDeleteI just LOVE these posts.
ReplyDeleteI had the mister read the last one on patience. Every time I could sense his blood boiling, I would just utter the word. It usually calmed him down, but he did have one incident that took a while. In those cases, I just leave him alone. He always comes around (It does irritate me when you are trying to be patient and there's no "give.")
I so agree with the second paragraph of this post. When you are kind people do want to be around you (No sense in wasting your time on someone who brings you down.).
The mister will be reading this one for sure.
I will work hard myself on both patience and kindness.
Last week was tough. We're adjusting to a new budget and my husband made me really mad at times because he wasn't grasping it, but I made an effort to listen to him and not get upset and I think it helped the process a lot. I'm excited for this dare.
ReplyDeleteAn unexpected gesture this week... hmm maybe I'll give him a massage! because I'm always the one demanding one in front of the tv!
ReplyDeleteReally interesting post...I'm excited to read the next dare :)))...in regards to your q...I use burgundy mascara because it makes my green eyes...really pop...basically purples/burgundies work really well on green and hazel eyes...:)))The YSL line i use makes other colors too...like blue,grey etc
ReplyDeleteDee
I love these posts! It's so true that kindness is what makes people fall in love in the first place. I'm going to work on this one this week. Thanks for the info!
ReplyDeletexo
Valerie
Hey girrrl!
ReplyDeleteI felt like if I entered that contest I'd be swiping that necklace from someone who it would be more their style... I'd hate to do that.
But I'm definitely now following you on twitter! Here's mine:
http://twitter.com/Das_WhatSheSaid
You have THEE most ADORABLE blog... I followed you immediately before even commenting because it was that cute, and I don't do that a lot!
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful dare, I am going to participate in this for sure, I even have an idea up my sleeve already!! If you have time I'd be tickled pink if you visit my blog!
Until then I'll see you around the blogosphere! Headed for your contest as well!
I definitely made an attempt to not only show my husband patience but also my child. Sometimes the latter is much more challenging but it's something I know I need to work on.
ReplyDeleteWith our anniversary coming up, hopefully the kindness one won't be too challenging. But then again, I'm probably going to be having a baby in the next week and I'm not too sure all my kindness genes will want to come out and play (:
Oh, this is really cool! My husband and I have only been married a year, and we're still in the newlywed phase, so it is rare that we are anything but kind and loving. BUT I know that this gets more difficult to do as marriage goes on, and I hope to be able to keep these things in mind as my marriage grows. Love your blog, happy to be your newest follower! XO!
ReplyDeleteSaying nothing negative can be a little difficult because some things I say I don't think are negative but he thinks they are. And visa versa. So before you say anything, you almost have to stop and think "would be husband be sad or upset if I said this"? Ugghh... that's a lot of work! And plus doing something nice for him?? Ok, ok, I'll give it a try. ;-) I'll keep ya posted!
ReplyDeleteAnother great one - we should always be kind to the ones we love the most, but it is not always easy! This will be my goal for the week, and I'll have to come up with something good for an extra unexpected nice thing! :)
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how much I appreciate your Love Dare posts! It is a great help to get a little nudge of reinforcement during my "me time" reading blogs, to push the nightly devotional we are doing back to the front of my mind.
ReplyDeleteMy mama used to always say to me growing up, "Patience is a virtue." I already find myself saying it to my own sweet child, but it's so much easier said than applied!
I actually did this dare before I saw this dare this morning! The boy gets up at 5:30 in the morning because he has a 2 hour drive to work. I got up at 5 this morning so that I could make him pancakes before work.
ReplyDeletexo have a fab day gorgeous!
I just wanted to thank you for your super sweet words!! It meant a lot!
ReplyDeleteI have an award for you!
ReplyDeleteI like to think of this "Dare" project of yours as the "Aware Dare"...that's really the great thing I have gotten from this...Patience and kindness...I have been humbled by how affected not only my husband, but my kids also have been affected by my "awareness"...it has fit so well in my summer goal of "living in the moment"....I am amazed how modeling patience and kindness purposefully affect the behavior of others...
ReplyDeleteThanks again for pointing the way!!
P.S. I am away from part of my family write now, and I have been really trying to send nice text messages and uplifting phone calls to let them know I am thinking about them....they have been so appreciative...I need to just make that a permanent habit....