Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The Love Dare Update and Day Three

The Love Dare - Day Two Update

Yikes!! This one was hard. That's so terrible to was hard to be nice to my husband! LOL But I swear bad habits are hard to break!!! I'm not evil or anything but I could always be nicer!! I tend to get aggravated easily and I always take it out on him. I try to always keep in my mind how I used to act before we got married and had bills and work problems to worry about. We were carefree and only thought of how much we loved each other and when we would get to see each other again. I miss that and I am always searching for a way to get back there. I think this Love Dare is really helping though and I can't wait to grow more and more through it.

My unexpected kindness was actually pretty hard to come up with! I wanted to do something he would actually appreciate rather than make him dinner or buy him something. I decided to organize his side of the closet so he can find things easier. This man has probably 5,000 t-shirts and my rule about everytime you buy one you need to get rid of one, somehow doesn't get enforced. These t-shirts and some random pants and shorts were all stuffed in shelves in the closet and would always fall on top of everything else. Keep in mind these are in addition to his stuffed full dresser in the bedroom. He has also filled up every guest bedroom closet and dresser...hmmm... Anyway, I folded everything nicely and seperated long sleeve, work shirts, nicer t-shirts...etc. It looks amazing!!! I wonder how long it will stay that way...?

So what unexpected kindness did y'all do for your spouse??

Day Three - Love is not selfish.

"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor." - Romans 12:10

We live in a world that is enamored with "self". The culture around us teaches us to focus on our appearance, feelings, and personal desires as the top priority. The goal, it seems, is to chase the highest level of happiness possible. The danger from this kind of thinking, however, becomes painfully apparent once inside a marriage relationship.

If there were ever a word that basically means the opposite of love, it is selfishness. Unfortunately it is something that is ingrained into every person from birth. Almost every sinful action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves.

Why do we have such low standards for ourselves but high expectations for our mate? The answer is a painful pill to swallow. We are all selfish.

Love is never satisfied except in the welfare of others. You can't be acting out of real love and selfishness at the same time. Choosing to love your mate will cause you to say "no" to what you want so you can say "yes" to what they need. That's putting the happiness of your partner above your own. It doesn't mean you can never experience happiness, but you don't negate the happiness of your spouse so you can enjoy it yourself.

Love also leads to inner joy. When you prioritize the well-being of your mate, there is a resulting fulfillment that cannot be duplicated by selfish actions. This is a benefit that God created and reserves for those who genuinely demonstrate love. The truth is, when you relinquish your rights for the sake of your mate, you get a chance to lose yourself to the greater purpose of marriage.

Ask yourself these questions:
Do I truly want what's best for my husband or wife?
Do I want them to feel loved by me?
Do they believe I have their best interests in mind?
Do they see me as looking out for myself first?

Whether you like it or not, you have a reputation in the eyes of those around you, especially in the eyes of your spouse. But is it a loving reputation?

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves." - Philippians 2:3

Today's Dare

Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, "I was thinking of you today."


After completing this dare, please answer the following questions in your own notebook but also please share with us your answers too!!

What did you choose to give your spouse? What happened when you gave it?

-Taken from The Love Dare by Stephen & Alex Kendrick with Lawrence Kimbrough


  1. Oh wow - I haven't really been following through with the love dare as well as I should.

    My act of kindness was spending time with my hubby the way that he enjoys - not me. For example, he loves it when I just sit in the livingroom and watch a game with him. I am in the middle of finishing the fifth HP book - so I have wanted to stayed locked up in my bedroom reading; however, Monday night and last night I made a point to put my book down and lay on the couch with hubby watching the homerun derby and All-star game.

    Not great - but a start.

    I have no idea what I'm going to buy him this week!!!

  2. I love reading your daily Love Dare's and how you are staying so devoted! That really shows that you are dedicated to your relationship and making sure that it stays as healthy and spiritual as pssible! ; ) I laughed in the beginning of your post when you said " I could always be a little nicer" I FEEL YOU sister! Sometimes it is hard...especially in our YOUNG WOMENLY OF PMS years! I loved how you organized his shirts! It showed you took time for him out of your day! And what is it with some men who can out shop women and rack up more things in their side of the closet? I don't have to worry about this with MC (he HATTTES shopping) but my dad could out shop my mom and I both ANYDAY of the week! haha Have a great day!!!

  3. Hi. I came across your blog and wanted to offer you to be listed on our giveaway blog network: Giveaway Scout ( Have a look and use our online form to add your blog ( ). Thanks, Mike

  4. I wasn't very good at last week's dare since we were both gone all last week!
    But I did something nice--replacing the Moon Pies (which I don't like but once due to a choco craving, I caved in and the last remaining one!)

  5. Chalk last week's dare up to a HUGE fail! I'm going to be better this week though. I can handle this one...I think. Hmmm, now to think of a little something to get Bret. He and my dad drove to Birmingham yesterday to buy me a new car...pretty hard to top that. Oh well, it's the though that counts, right?!

  6. What a great post; thank you for this. These are such vital reminders!!! It appears I have some more reading and catching up to do on your blog here :)

    Delightful Bitefuls

  7. yes! sometimes it is hard to be nice to the hubs!
    i gave him the night off from cooking...he picks our muffy up from school and starts dinner (and cleans up the mess) since i typically don't get home until 630, then want to spend time with muffy before bed, bath & beyond! ;-)
    and i must say, what i made was HORRIBLE! thankfully he does most all our cooking. (muffy did not complain, tho and she ate everything!)

    ps: about the black dog.... if you have a black lab, you HAVE to visit -- very nice products and one of the greatest places to visit on martha's vineyard... excellent bakery/cafe and restaurant!

  8. Ha! I call the spare room in my apartment "Jay's room". It's my apartment, but I like having him there all the time (minus messes that guys tend to trail behind them, lol!), so I let him set up his xbox/ clothes/ guitars in there alongside my junk, that way he has his own space.

    I cleaned it the other day before he left for a fishing trip, so he could come home to a clean room...looking at it now, you definitely can't tell it was ever clean, lol, but he did appreciate my gesture very much, and that was the whole point! I have to really focus on being thoughtful when it comes to him- he definitely spoils me, and I tend to get in slumps sometimes where I forget to be thoughtful as well!

  9. Such true words. Yesterday was a rough day. So, all of this was very good to read.
    I think I will read it over again. Thank you!

  10. I love these posts! You're such a great example of being a wonderful wife. I've actually forgotten about this and need to start doing it again! Ugh. I'm going to start today. Thanks for the inspiration!


  11. Another great one! Oh how hard it is not to be selfish... time to really concentrate on this one this week. ;)