Yikes!! This one was hard. That's so terrible to say...it was hard to be nice to my husband! LOL But I swear bad habits are hard to break!!! I'm not evil or anything but I could always be nicer!! I tend to get aggravated easily and I always take it out on him. I try to always keep in my mind how I used to act before we got married and had bills and work problems to worry about. We were carefree and only thought of how much we loved each other and when we would get to see each other again. I miss that and I am always searching for a way to get back there. I think this Love Dare is really helping though and I can't wait to grow more and more through it.
My unexpected kindness was actually pretty hard to come up with! I wanted to do something he would actually appreciate rather than make him dinner or buy him something. I decided to organize his side of the closet so he can find things easier. This man has probably 5,000 t-shirts and my rule about everytime you buy one you need to get rid of one, somehow doesn't get enforced. These t-shirts and some random pants and shorts were all stuffed in shelves in the closet and would always fall on top of everything else. Keep in mind these are in addition to his stuffed full dresser in the bedroom. He has also filled up every guest bedroom closet and dresser...hmmm... Anyway, I folded everything nicely and seperated long sleeve, work shirts, nicer t-shirts...etc. It looks amazing!!! I wonder how long it will stay that way...?
So what unexpected kindness did y'all do for your spouse??
Day Three - Love is not selfish.
"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor." - Romans 12:10
We live in a world that is enamored with "self". The culture around us teaches us to focus on our appearance, feelings, and personal desires as the top priority. The goal, it seems, is to chase the highest level of happiness possible. The danger from this kind of thinking, however, becomes painfully apparent once inside a marriage relationship.
If there were ever a word that basically means the opposite of love, it is selfishness. Unfortunately it is something that is ingrained into every person from birth. Almost every sinful action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves.
Why do we have such low standards for ourselves but high expectations for our mate? The answer is a painful pill to swallow. We are all selfish.
Love is never satisfied except in the welfare of others. You can't be acting out of real love and selfishness at the same time. Choosing to love your mate will cause you to say "no" to what you want so you can say "yes" to what they need. That's putting the happiness of your partner above your own. It doesn't mean you can never experience happiness, but you don't negate the happiness of your spouse so you can enjoy it yourself.
Love also leads to inner joy. When you prioritize the well-being of your mate, there is a resulting fulfillment that cannot be duplicated by selfish actions. This is a benefit that God created and reserves for those who genuinely demonstrate love. The truth is, when you relinquish your rights for the sake of your mate, you get a chance to lose yourself to the greater purpose of marriage.
Ask yourself these questions:
Do I truly want what's best for my husband or wife?
Do I want them to feel loved by me?
Do they believe I have their best interests in mind?
Do they see me as looking out for myself first?
Whether you like it or not, you have a reputation in the eyes of those around you, especially in the eyes of your spouse. But is it a loving reputation?
"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves." - Philippians 2:3
Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, "I was thinking of you today."
After completing this dare, please answer the following questions in your own notebook but also please share with us your answers too!!
What did you choose to give your spouse? What happened when you gave it?
-Taken from The Love Dare by Stephen & Alex Kendrick with Lawrence Kimbrough